Handling the anticipation when being in love can be torture! Waiting for that call, waiting for that text from that special someone. The minutes go by like hours! If you feel that your special love is moving at a much slower pace than you’d like, it can make you quite anxious and in some cases, crazy!
The silly feelings you get at the start of a relationship are so energizing (and anxiety producing) that I would never want to give them up for the reassurance or even a guarantee of love. But still, you want to know that the one you are sending your energy to is sending some back.
Some anticipation is a mandatory step in the dance of love. Without it, I don’t think we develop a feeling of vulnerability, and though being vulnerable can be uncomfortable, it’s a necessity if you want to be in love. That is, being vulnerable is both a curse and a gift.
That may be hard for some to relate to. I’ve worked with many clients that loathe that squirmy feeling and hate that their hearts are now open and vulnerable. I try to coach them to hang in there. If you don’t take the risk of opening your heart and soul completely, you won’t love (or feel loved) completely.
Holding yourself back out of the fear of getting hurt is understandable, a person may reach this place for many reasons—most of them unpleasant—but it’s usually a choice to stay there.
No one likes feeling insecure. But you can choose how you respond to being vulnerable, for it’s really a state of mind over which you have some control. You may want to remind yourself that being vulnerable is part of the process of falling in love. You can also find constructive outlets for your thoughts and emotions.
Talking with your friends can help and be fun. As long as the relationship is not abusive or inappropriate, professional advice isn’t a necessity. After all, though it may be difficult, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Exercise or puttering around the house can also be a good use of the excess energy that anticipation can bring.
In addition, believe it or not, anticipation can be an energy booster. You may have the strength to move mountains or create the ultimate date night. Anticipation also increases your creativity, and don’t be surprised if you get a poetic thought or two. You will find new ways to bring joy to your lover and to yourself. It is amazing how much life force a growing love can give you.
In any new relationship, there is always an element of risk, and that may be what the anticipation is about. Let it keep you on your toes, so you can dance the night away with the one you love!!