Dating after divorce

Many divorcees choose to isolate themselves from dating and romance. Rather than delving into the stress of dating, a recent study found that 55 percent of divorced people reported having “zero” dates during a given month. Some claimed months pass without experiencing any social encounters such as dates. It is important to remember that companionship is a big part of who we are.

This is why I talked about the subject today on WPIX in New York City. If you’re divorced, you don’t have to be single forever. It’s a matter of finding that right person.

Avoiding the “Roommate Rut”

When a couple has been in a relationship for a while, sometimes they unknowingly fall into what I like to call the “roommate rut.”

After the honeymoon phase — whether it’s a few months or even a few years — couples can begin to lose the initial chemistry that first brought them together. Maybe you begin to notice that dinner is always spent on the couch in front of the television, or that you haven’t had a night out together in a long time. You feel like two ships passing in the night, your time together spent getting your daily To-Do List checked off. It’s easy to fall into the comfortable pattern of being in a secure relationship, but make sure you aren’t forgetting to nurture it as well.

The idea here is to get back to basics. Remember when things were fresh and exciting? What were some of the things you both enjoyed doing together at the start of your relationship? This could be as straightforward as grabbing a bite to eat with some one-on-one time. Take yourselves away from whatever grabs your attention at home (including children). Another simple idea is to make dinner a sit-at-the-table and how-was-your-day kind of deal. This helps you stay involved in your partner’s life, and vice versa. Making time for each other throughout the day can keep an active focus on your relationship and strengthen the bond you have with one another.

Other things can be quicker and easier, like being affectionate. This can be a hug while washing dishes or a kiss before bed. In terms of affection, a little just might go a long way. It sounds basic, but you would be surprised at how many of us forget to do these simple things after a while. Even sending a text in the middle of the day that lets your partner know you’re thinking of him may work wonders. And always remember: a bouquet of flowers couldn’t hurt now and then!

Like anything else in life, having a successful relationship takes time and effort. But believe me, the payoff is worth it in the end.