#Relationships: Kids talk grown-up dating problems

This video was so cute and right on, that we had to re-post it.

 

#Relationships and ‘GIRLS’: Remove the dysfunction from your love life

Image via flickr.com

I’m not a Girls fan. It’s not aimed at my age demographic, but I am intrigued by the subject matter. I suppose it is a thing where art imitates life: Women in their 20s getting married too young, fighting over boys, figuring out who they are. It’s like the Miley Cyrus syndrome. Are they looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

The four main characters are completely dysfunctional. You’ve got the British girl who got married on a whim and ruined her marriage just as fast. Then, she ran away. The prissy one (from what I can tell anyway) who’s sort of living with, or was living with an older man. And by older, I mean 33 to her 21. Then there’s the pretty one who’s life is allegedly falling apart, but not really. And, finally, the writer or wannabe writer, who’s suffering from a mental breakdown and the resurgence of OCD.

The thing that upsets me, for lack of a better word, is that these women, but more appropriately these “girls,” are all very desperate in one way or another. They’re mostly desperate for men.

As I’ve written before, the 20s are for figuring out who you are. Sure, a part of that is dating different men to determine the type of man you want in your life. But latching on to the first man who comes along is not a good idea. Going back to a man who wasn’t good for just so you’re not lonely is not a good idea. But mostly, this show is not a good idea, especially because young women are watching and likely thinking this is how they should behave. Perhaps life is imitating art instead.

#Relationships: Online dating and the “Next!” generation

Photo credit: CNNMoney

When you’re single, it can often feel like you’re stuck in a hamster wheel of despair. With online dating especially this despair becomes amplified when potential dates are judging you on the surface. For instance,  this article on CNNMoney asks: How can you find a meaningful relationship when you think it’s going well with that guy or gal, but you leave for a business trip for a couple of days and they suddenly move on?  Then they “break-up” with you via text before they even know you simply because you weren’t immediately available to meet their needs.

Cruising online has become a way for people to sow their wild oats. It’s for those who aren’t serious about settling down and those who want to have a good time, one-night stands and all. For those looking seriously for a mate, online dating isn’t healthy. It often triggers feelings of worthlessness. And why wouldn’t it when potential dates are so quick to move on?

So, what can you do? Go offline. If that’s the one piece of advice I can you, that’s it. Put your phone down. Logoff for a night or two and really let yourself connect with people. Even if it’s just drinks with girlfriends or the guys, turn off your phone. Put it on DO NOT DISTURB. Once you reconnect on a real level with the people you care about, you’ll start to see the world again and maybe, just maybe, find the one you’ve been looking for your entire life.

#Relationships: Are Canadians onto something?

Image via commons.wikimedia.org

Well, Canadians have free health care, mild manners and now they might have a leg up on Americans in another way: relationships.

According to a study released this week, our neighbors to the north are living apart while in committed, non-married relationships more than ever, with 2 million people doing so. The main reasons for this trend are that they are either not ready to live with someone or they fear living with someone will cause them to lose their independence. Even a quarter million of those married were found to live at separate residences.

It seems Canadians are much better at setting relationships boundaries than we Americans. And, as a country, they do seem much happier and laid back. Think about it. They don’t have to deal with their lover’s habits like:

  • Space invasion. Sometimes you just want to be alone, but when you live with someone, you can’t always have that time alone.
  • Cleanliness. If you have a messy spouse or significant other who isn’t the cleanest person in the world, it can definitely put a strain on the relationship if you’re constantly cleaning up after them.
  • Nagging. See above. If you live separately, you miss out on the nagging factor.

Plus, intimacy is probably better because you don’t see your love 24/7. You give yourselves the chance to miss one another. Giving each other space, even when living under the same roof, will bring you closer together. I think the Canadians are definitely onto something, but, as always, it depends on the couple involved.

What do you think? Could you live apart from your significant other or is it a bad idea?

#Relationships: Five tips to keep passion alive

Long-term relationships can be tricky. When you’re with someone long enough, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine: Go to work, pick up the kids, make dinner, put the kids to bed, etc. By the end of the day, you’re exhausted, and intimacy with your partner likely becomes the last priority on your to-do list.

When I read Pamela Madsen’s blog post yesterday about keeping intimacy alive, I had to share it. We do evolve as couples. Just because we aren’t as crazy in the bedroom as we once were, does not mean that romance is dead or that your relationship is in trouble. Love her perspective.

 

Read the full article here.