Drinks as a First Date

Portrait of a couple in love chatting and toasting at a night club

First dates can evoke both excitement and nervousness. For many, the logistics of planning a first date conjure up numerous questions and worries. What if I don’t like him or her? Who is going to pay? Should I at least offer to pay? What if I order messy food and make a bad first impression? These concerns may be a large factor as to why 15% of Americans prefer having drinks instead of dinner as a first date. Alcohol is the revered choice for many due to its ability to help calm nerves and allow for a relaxed conversation to flow a little more loosely than a nervous, sober mind might. In addition, going for a drink is less of a time, social, and financial commitment than a full sit-down dinner. This can eliminate awkwardness should there be no connection or quality conversation, and the date can end when the drink ends.

Those who prefer the drink over dinner option, more than any other group of people, were those in the LGBT community, with 32% of homosexual men and women twice as likely to prefer drinks. Second to that were those who earn upwards of $100,000. It stands to reason that high earners and divorcees, whose professions are demanding, value their time and don’t want to waste it on a bad first date. Making up the remaining percentages were those in the African-American community and Americans over the age of 65. The popularity of having drinks on the first date was also heavily dictated by region with those residing in the west preferring the liquid option at 20%.

At Premier Match, we generally find that about 75% of our clients really enjoy drinks and light hors de oeuvres on a first date. If asked, the majority of them would give you very similar reason as listed in the study referenced above.

Communication in the Age of Texting

Beautiful woman hand holding a black cellphone

Texting has certainly become the societal norm in the 21st century, but where does texting fit into a romantic relationship? Texting may be convenient and quick, but I strongly recommend they not be the main and/or sole form of communication for couples. Nothing replaces a phone call, and the sound of a person’s voice. Since texts are simply words read, there is no way to interpret voice inflection, emotion, or even the small silences and laughs that oftentimes mean more than words. A reliance on text messages can be the cause of serious miscommunications and can eventually erode a loving relationship.

Follow these 3 rules-of-thumb when texting:

·        K.I.T. and K.I.S.S. – text messages should be used to keep in touch (K.i.T.) throughout the day, especially if you are both working or apart from each other for a number of hours. Keep it Simple Stupid Silly (K.I.S.S.), use text messages for brief questions, “Chinese ok for dinner?” and sentiments,  “Missing you”.

·        Content- Negative emotions result in angry texts that may read as you being angry with the recipient instead of the situation. Positive emotions should be shared through voice calls so your partner can hear your excitement and share in the joy. If you want to share something funny, choose your words wisely so the recipient knows it’s a joke, or add an ‘LOL’ or a smiley face emoticon. NEVER should you use text to inform of things such as a job loss, death, date cancellation, or a breakup.

·        Character Count- think twitter when texting; if you can’t share what you want in 140 characters, make a phone call instead.