How Did Your First Date Go?

Without a doubt, the question we find both men and women asking themselves after a first date is “How did it go”? The answer to this question is extremely important on many levels.
That first date will really set the stage for what follows. We all know that first impressions are important, and this is particularly true when talking about a first date. The fact is, if the first date goes perfectly, then the rest of dating process will more than likely go great. The tone for a successful relationship has been set. On the other hand, if the first date is a dud, you can expect that the following dates will be more difficult and maybe even uncomfortable.

first date
With all of that said, how are we supposed to know how it went? Aside from simply waiting and finding out, there are a few clues that you can take away to help assess how it went.
Conversation is possibly the greatest indicator of how the date scored on the success meter. How did the conversation during the date flow? Was it comfortable and natural, or was it forced and uneasy? Certainly when people who do not know each other have initial conversations, there can be a “breaking the ice” period. However, as the date progresses, the conversation should become easy and enjoyable. If this doesn’t happen, and an uncomfortable feeling persists, its very possible that things did not go well and that one of you was not comfortable. This is one of the top factors in determining whether or not a second date will take place.
Something that goes hand in hand with conversation, of course, is laughter.

Was your date laughing throughout the conversation? If so, odds are that she was comfortable, found you charming and funny, and will probably be eager to see you again.
If you have the feeling that things did go well, then it is time to consider communication after that first date. This will begin to give you a very good idea of how your date perceived your time together. Contact can go two ways- your date may attempt to contact you, or you will wait to hear back after you have contacted her. The ideal situation, of course, will be if she contacts you (or responds to your contact) and says something to the effect of “I had a great time last night; call me and let’s plan to do it again”. If this happens, then you know the first date went well, and you are on your way to what might be a successful relationship.
The other possibility, of course, is that you contact her and hear nothing in return. At Premier Match, we’d suggest to you that if this happens three times, then it is probably didn’t go so well, and it’s time to move on.
So how did the first date go? The above tips can you gauge the answer, but at the end of the day the answer to this question has a pretty simple answer- did you get a second?

Should I Bring Up My Past Relationship?

It is usually rule number one for first dates: don’t discuss exes.

In fact, a recent poll shows that those who take the greatest exception to the “exes” rule are Americas’ wealthiest singles. Forty-six percent of Americans earning between $100,000 and $124,999 annually think talking about previous relationships on a first date is acceptable. Among gay and lesbian singles, 41% said they were likely to accept and be comfortable speaking of previous relationships, whereas only 36% of straight single people were. In general, males were slightly more accepting than females of discussing past relationships and Asian Americans lead the percentages over their African American, Caucasian, and Hispanic counterparts.

Among those surveyed, results showed that the group least likely to discuss past relationships on their first date were young Americans. Those ages 18- 44 were, on average, less likely than those ages 45 and above to find talking about their past relationships on a first date an appropriate topic of conversation. Also discovered was that 37% of men and just 35% of women found the topic date-worthy for conversation. With over one thousand people answering the question, 38% of those were Midwesterners who seemed to embrace the idea more than those in other parts of the country.

At Premier Match, we always coach our clients not to bring up an ex during a date, but we find that often if one of the two does bring up the topic, it’s akin to the the flood gates opening and the other party will inevitably feel that it is acceptable to begin discussing it. Try to refrain from this prospect and instead exercise self control. Take the liberty of changing the topic quickly by saying “well enough about our past… so tell me, have you been on any fun trips lately?”