While most of us skeptics believe that long distance relationships are challenging, frustrating and inevitably do not last – it appears that a recent study* revealed single people involved in long-distance dating relationships felt these relationships were highly rewarding and offer the same level of satisfaction as those that dated people nearby. Researchers included and considered characteristics that are typically important to couples, including commitment, communication, and levels of intimacy, along with sexual satisfaction.
Traditionally, the general opinion about long-distance relationships is that these relationships do not have the staying power that conventional, close distance relationships enjoy. According to their research, which, unlike studies in the past, included same sex couples as well as heterosexual couples, long-distance couples don’t experience decreased satisfaction. So, it seems that while long-distance relationships may not be ideal, they are possible, fulfilling, and are just as rewarding.
So if you are contemplating beginning a long distance relationship, give it a try….see what happens. You might be surprised how satisfying and rewarding it might be!
* The study was conducted and published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
These days Valentine’s Day is celebrated with red roses, balloons, stuffed animals, chocolates, and romantic dinners. The holiday is a fun and affectionate way to show your appreciation to those you love and cherish. The day has evolved into the celebration it is today, but its origins and meanings are still disputed. Some believe it began as a pagan holiday that celebrated Lupercalia or fertility and was named after two martyrs were both killed on separate Feb 14ths, which both had the last name of Valentines. Others believe Eros, the Greek mythological God; whose Roman name was Cupid and St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers are responsible for the holiday and its meanings. And still, others recognize it as the celebration of Christian saint, Valentinus.
No matter which story or country of origin you accept, modern culture and society collectively commemorate the day as a time for celebration and expressing love. Romantic, Eros love between couples, platonic loves between friends, and the love you have for your parents and children. No matter whom you celebrate the day with, take time to express gratitude for the people who have been placed in your life, those whom you have loved and lost, and those who are still to enter your heart. Happy Valentine’s Day.
In our last post, we discussed some tips and indications to think about when answering the question, ‘How did our first date go?’ As a follow up to that, we’d like to offer you a few things to do and consider after your first date.
If you are the female counterpart to the date, think about how the date went for you. Did you find the conversation to be easy and the mood stress-free? Think about whether your date seemed like a person you’d like to know more about, whose personality you found interesting, and whether or not you could see yourself exclusively dating him. After all, just because the first date wasn’t terrible doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go on a second date. However, it is most honorable to nicely let him know that you had a great time but that you didn’t feel as though the two of you would be a great match as a couple.
If you have received a follow-up text or phone call from him and he’s made it clear that he had a great time, reciprocate the sentiment. Don’t be fooled, men can be just as nervous and anxious to hear back from a woman as women can be. If he suggests a second date, express that you’d love to and if he doesn’t, don’t assume he doesn’t want a second date. Some men may think it is intimidating or forward, so take some stress off of him and recommend a second date. A casual question such as, “Would you like to have dinner this weekend?” opens the door for conversation and second date ideas.
Regardless of what you decide to do for your second date, release the first date pressures, stresses, and worries by staying in contact. Reply to voicemails or texts from him within a reasonable amount of time and don’t be afraid to be the one to make the initial, post-date contact. Leave the 48-hour rules and any other high school dating rules to those silly teenagers. Above all, have fun on your second date!