Dating Over 40

Dating at any age requires time, energy and work, but dating after 40 can seem even more exhausting! When you are over 40, it seems that most of your social circles have now fragmented ~ your friends have either moved away or you have. Many are now married with family demands and kids; work colleagues may not be close enough for you to socialize outside the office with.  So what do you do? Go to bars and social events solo?  It is tough making new connections out in the social scene.  We hear it all the time at Premier Match. Even I (Christie Nightingale) the owner, find it exhausting. I go out regularly to social events to network. It isn’t easy going up to strangers and initiating chit chat.  So what can you do to get out there and meet people other than sit at home and surf online?

•    Engage in activities you enjoy, not things you know others enjoy. If hanging out in bars brings you no joy, don’t go. Find a class or activity that you’d be glad to do alone and meet people who share your interest.

•    Always be welcoming and approachable. No matter where you are, while you are in public, people surround you and some of these people might be single and interested. Smile at people, make eye contact, and be willing to spark up a conversation or carry one out with a person who starts one with you.

•    Look the part. Be a person who carries themselves with pride and confidence. Dress as if you are taking care of yourself. No one wants to ask a person out who doesn’t value personal care. Go out well groomed and comfortably dressed in clothes that make you look and feel your best. You don’t have to step out of the house dressed to kill every day, but look in the mirror before you leave and ask yourself, “Would I date me?”

•    When someone asks you out, say yes. Don’t run through a list of questions in your head or immediate retract and think or reasons to say no. Be open to at the very least making a new acquaintance. Your first date can be short and casual, so that if you aren’t enjoying their company or don’t feel comfortable, you know it will be over soon.

Marketing Yourself Online

In the business world, marketing is the art in which companies interact with, and cultivate relationships with customers. Target marketing is the process of pinpointing and identifying the specific audience your brand and company want to reach. The same approach is useful in the world of dating; marketing yourself when online dating is all about attracting the right people with the hopes of developing a relationship.

Here at Premier Match we often coach clients on how they should “market” themselves online. Here are just four tips that we would like to share with you that we feel will best help you when marketing yourself on dating websites:

1. Be Authentic – present the real you, meaning have a high quality profile picture that shows your entire face. Fill out your profile completely but without divulging too much personal information, and tell the truth!

2. Keep Your Profile Short & Sweet – Bear in mind that too wordy of a profile will cause someone to skim through it and possibly not read the key points that you are trying to share.  Pare it down as best you can and only keep what is absolutely necessary.

3. Be Personable- pokes, winks, and too much too soon makes the experience cold. Use the dating site to communicate in complete sentences, not with winks or even texts. And, take your time.

*  Attention Gentlemen seeking Women – Please note that women feel a lot more comfortable arranging a date with you when you’ve given them a bit of time to get to know you a little.
* Attention Ladies seeking Men-  Please don’t try to find out everything that you can about a person via email before you decide to meet. If you’re interested, say so, and try to make it a point to meet the person after about 3-4 email exchanges to see how things go.

4. Cut your Losses – it happens, rejection, no sparks, no interest. No matter how much preparation you did, sometimes real-life relationships just don’t pan out. If that happens, be grateful for the experience, cut your losses and move on. Don’t let your fear, hurt, etc. get the best of you and cause you to lash out, speak poorly of, or act childish.