Three Ways to Re-invent your Search for Love

Do you feel like your dating situation is going nowhere? Do you feel like you’re in a rut? Do you keep dating the same “type” of person only to end up single again after a few passionate months? If so, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate your search and edit your criteria. Remember, as time marches on, we change, we age, we need to evolve!

At Premier, we have interviewed many potential clients that we have had to coach even before we initiate a search in order to get them on track. Here are a few tips that have been very helpful to clients and we would love to share them with you now:

1. Toss the List – No matter where we keep these lists– on paper, on our laptops, in our heads – we all have these LISTS. You know, the “Top 10 Things We’re Looking for in a Partner?” Maybe you’ve got an image of what he needs to look like (full head of hair? Over 6 ft. tall?) or what she needs to be like (um, like 20 years younger?) Whatever is on your must-have list, TOSS IT!! It’s time to reevaluate that list and be more open to meeting different types of people.

2. Don’t Listen to your Friends – Sound harsh? Look, your friends and family have developed a sense of who you are based on what they’ve seen of you; makes sense. But no one knows what you really want ~ who you really want and who you really are ~ more than you! Haven’t you ever been attracted to someone only to be convinced by your friends that you shouldn’t invest any more time with this person? Even if this person is a good, solid individual that is kind, generous, intriguing and treats you well? We would suggest the next time this situation arises, avoid listening to what your friends think and who THEY think you should go out with. Listen to YOU. It may shock them – and you – to find who you’re really happy with.

3. Practice the “What If”- Here’s the scenario, you’re at a bar/restaurant or event and this man (or lady) orders you a drink even if (at that moment) he/she may not seem “your type.” Hmmm, what to do? Are you willing to practice the “What if’s?” What if you accepted the drink and allowed yourself to at least explore a conversation with this person. What if you found out he/she is pretty interesting, has a real funny side and happens to share quite a bit in common with you? What if you actually allowed yourself to become attracted to this person simply by letting you encounter evolve? Look, you’ve tried the same routine to find someone and the old formula isn’t working. Right now, you’re dateless. So what if you said yes to serendipitous interactions?