Increasing the Positive Energy in Your Life

Happy Couple_9

Increasing the Positive Energy in Your Life
With Springtime now upon us, the weather improving and spending time outside and enjoying yourself can put you in a better state of mind – A more positive state of mind that can also enhance your chances of finding love. Here are Six tips to help you increase the positivity in your life!

1. Retrain you mind to Focus on Positive Thoughts
Are you a person who continually beats yourself up mentally? Do you constantly question your actions? If so, try to retrain your brain to stop doing that to yourself. The more you talk negatively to yourself, the more that negativity will become a part of you. Instead, practice the power of positive thinking. Any time a negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a positive one. At some point, this will become more natural as your brain automatically turns a negative into a positive.

2. Surround Yourself with Optimistic People
It’s important to have a positive support group to help each other through difficult times. Notice we mention a “positive” support group? Surrounding yourself with positive people will help you stay positive when in a negative situation. There are plenty of negative people out there—avoid them! Their negative attitudes will only bring you down and be counterproductive to what you are trying to achieve by practicing positive thinking.

3. Smile
Smiling is really important. Do you know it has been proven that if you smile more it actually does lift your spirits? Try to smile when you’re walking around. You’ll be surprised how much better you will feel. Too many people have a permanent frown on their faces these days which is really sad. If you want to be happy, start looking like you are!

4. Exercise your Body and your Mind
We know that exercise is good for our bodies, but what about our minds? You bet it is! It releases those natural endorphins in our brains that make us feel better. Exercise has physical as well as mental and emotional benefits. So getting out there and working out will keep your body get in better shape, as well as boost your self-esteem for having the discipline to exercise. Adding yoga into your exercise routine may also help you learn to really focus and meditate. Exercise is an excellent way to fight the negative effects of bad situations.

5. Increase your Good Karma
Exercising kindness is contagious. So is karma. You’ll be surprised how good it feels to indulge in random acts of kindness. By doing something nice for someone else, you’ll make their day and you’ll feel better. Spread the positive vibes.

6. Express Gratitude.
Even in the worst of times, most of us realize that we still have things in our lives for which we are grateful. Voice those blessings! Practice gratitude. Talk about the things you are grateful for with your support group. Keep a gratitude journal to capture the thankfulness you feel for what you have on a daily basis. Actively acknowledging what you’re grateful for will help you to always have a grateful mind and heart, even when bad things happen.

Tips on What to Give Your Loved One For Valentine’s Day

Here are 10 Creative Ways you can Express Your Love—This Valentine’s Day….

·         Create your own Valentine’s Day card. Be creative and compose a poem or an expression of love that states your feelings. S/He will be emotionally touched by this. Follow it up with popping open a great bottle of wine or champagne!

·         Make a CD of your favorite songs as a couple including love songs that have meaning to you both. Buy some romantic CDs, classic videos or DVDs and wrap them all together with red ribbon.

·         Create a Video reel of live footage and still photography and add your favorite songs. You can create a simple video by purchasing video editor software on to your computer. With today’s technology this is easy and cheap to do.

·        If video editing is too complicated, than buy an Electronic Picture Frame and put your best photos as a couple in to it. This is a perfect gift to remind your beloved that they are special.

·         Jewelry is always a favorite. Custom engrave selected items: For the Lady in your life ~ buy a heart-shaped locket and put your picture in it. Personalize the locket with your loved one’s initials so she’ll have something to wear that’s hers alone.  For the man in your life ~ a good choice is the classic sterling silver bill holder, card case or cuff links with his initials custom-engraved.

·         Prepare your loved one’s favorite dinner and serve it on a romantically set table and dine by candlelight on Valentine’s Day. For the sweetheart with a sweet tooth, make a decadent dessert such as a chocolate fondue with melted chocolate mixed with a touch of heavy cream, and serve it with fruit or cookies.

·         Give the love of your life a personalized gift for his/her favorite sport, (if s/he has a passion for it). Order personalized golf or tennis balls that say, “I love you,” “You’re a hit!” or “Be mine.” Other ideas are monogrammed workout towels, tote bags, yoga mats, etc.

·         Create a “recollection collection” filled with love letters, keepsakes from special occasions, and cherished mementos. You can buy a simple plastic box and place these favorite items in this container. And more importantly you can add more items as your relationship grows over time.

·         Make a Love Basket filled with items that cover all the senses: Sight, Hearing, Taste, Touch, and Smell. Be creative with each gift that fits each category (i.e. a sexy picture of yourself for Sight, delectable sweets for Taste, their favorite fragrance for Smell, etc).

·        The gift of togetherness is precious, given today’s busy lifestyles. Plan a romantic, surprise weekend travel getaway. Whether it be a cozy Inn by the ocean or a little cabin in the woods. Make it romantic!   How booking a day at the spa?  Schedule dual massages and a day to relax and enjoy each other.

A Brand New Year – Free yourself of Emotional Baggage

There’s no better time than the start of a brand New Year to start fresh in many areas of our lives. For those who are single and dating, that fresh start should include moving forward into new relationships without carrying emotional “baggage” from the past.

Picture a small child packing a backpack to prepare for school. That’s what we, as adults, sometimes do- we fill our mental backpacks with all the items, problems, issues, and difficulties we experienced in previous relationships and we shoulder them. We carry them around with us and we bring them into our new relationships and before you know it, they sabotage our chances for advancing.

Whether your backpack is filled with what-ifs, why’s, what could have been’s,  fears, thoughts, or stories that don’t serve you… let them go!  Take the backpack off, leave behind the baggage of whatever failures, hurts, or mistakes you or your previous partner made. It’s easier said than done, yes, but it’s entirely possible to leave the past in the past. Bring with you the memories, the things you learned, the growth you experienced, and offer those feelings towards your new partner. It’s inevitable that things that are less than ideal will happen in our lives, but it is empowering to know that we all have a choice as to what we choose to hold on to.

So, for this brand New Year, free yourself!  Put down the backpack and embrace the new! The quicker you are to release it, the better you will feel.

Political Beliefs and Dating

At Premier Match, our main objective is to help our clients find the best possible romantic match and extend that match into a long term relationship. As we all know, no two people are exactly the same, and so it goes without saying that there will always be some differences between potential mates. We believe that this is very normal, healthy, and can actually be the cornerstone of a great relationship. After all, if everyone was exactly the same, life would be a bit boring wouldn’t it?
One of the differences that people seem to be the most concerned about is political beliefs. Can you become involved with someone who does not share your political beliefs? Will it cause undue strife in your blossoming relationship? Will you even be able to get along? These are some of the worries that we hear about on a pretty regular basis.
The answers to these questions will obviously vary between individual couples, but generally we have found that differences in political beliefs certainly don’t have to be a deal breaker, and can maybe even enhance a relationship. Consider the following:

-Even if you disagree politically, does that have to have an effect on your relationship? Most issues of a political nature will not be things that will have a direct effect on your relationship. Sure, you may have debate over certain issues, but at the end of the day it is very rare that a political issue is going to involve something that will every directly affect your relationship.
-People are mostly not all “right” or all “left”. You may have someone who’s financial views are conservative, but that doesn’t mean that every single belief that they have will be of a conservative nature. The same goes for someone with a more liberal view of things. Chances are that if you find someone that you are comfortable with, in most other ways, their belief system will probably have at least some things in common with yours.
What we see then is that political beliefs tend to have a similar effect on relationships as other types of beliefs and preferences. You might prefer vanilla ice cream, and she might prefer chocolate. That doesn’t make you in any way incompatible- and differences in political beliefs shouldn’t either.

How to Be a True Gentleman

In our society today, there tend to be two distinct camps when the conversation turns to the idea of what being a gentleman means. One side tends to feel that the idea of a “gentleman” is a thing of the past – and ancient relic. The other side believes that the rules of chivalry have not – and for that matter, cannot ever – be changed. Regardless of this debate, it is our position at Premier Match to coach our men to date successfully by being and acting like gentleman… at all times. Women appreciate appropriate behavior and expect it. So how can you date successfully in today’s society? Here are a few tips that we have put together based on our conversations with both men and women:

1) Good manners. This one seems to be towards the top of the list, whether you are talking to a man or a woman. This is simply a must, and it means not only being polite, but also being in control and well-mannered at all times – regardless of the situation.

2) Always Be the Best You Can Be. No one can be perfect obviously, however, one of the things that define a gentleman is his effort to be a decent and respectful human being. A true gentleman always pushes himself to improve his basic core and tries effortlessly to help others improve themselves as well.

3) Keep Your Promises. This one is self-explanatory. A gentleman respects others and therefore respects their time. So if you say you are going to call someone, follow through and call them. If you say you will meet someone at a certain time, be there promptly. Acting in this manner will help people to trust you- and being trustworthy is a large part of being a gentleman.

4) Be Attentive. Be aware of your surroundings and make sure that your girl is comfortable in any situation. If someone is giving her a hard time or making her feel uneasy, you should absolutely remove her from the situation. Also, be attentive and “in the moment” at all times. This means turning off your iphone and enjoying your time with her – and her alone – during your dates rather than focusing on your next incoming text or email. Unless you are a doctor on call or have a situation where it’s critical that someone can reach you during your date, turn the gadget off and engage the woman in front of you by giving her your full attention.

There are many components that go hand in hand with being a gentleman. The four above are a great starting point. Remember, if you want to stand out from the crowd and impress any woman while dating, we would suggest you review these categories and try to live by them.

Can long distance relationships actually be rewarding and offer the same quality of satisfaction as relationships that benefit from closer proximity?

While most of us skeptics believe that long distance relationships are challenging, frustrating and inevitably do not last – it appears that a recent study* revealed single people involved in long-distance dating relationships felt these relationships were highly rewarding and offer the same level of satisfaction as those that dated people nearby. Researchers included and considered characteristics that are typically important to couples, including commitment, communication, and levels of intimacy, along with sexual satisfaction.

Traditionally, the general opinion about long-distance relationships is that these relationships do not have the staying power that conventional, close distance relationships enjoy. According to their research, which, unlike studies in the past, included same sex couples as well as heterosexual couples, long-distance couples don’t experience decreased satisfaction. So, it seems that while long-distance relationships may not be ideal, they are possible, fulfilling, and are just as rewarding.

So if you are contemplating beginning a long distance relationship, give it a try….see what happens. You might be surprised how satisfying and rewarding it might be!

 

* The study was conducted and published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy

How Did Your First Date Go? – Part 2

In our last post, we discussed some tips and indications to think about when answering the question, ‘How did our first date go?’ As a follow up to that, we’d like to offer you a few things to do and consider after your first date.

If you are the female counterpart to the date, think about how the date went for you. Did you find the conversation to be easy and the mood stress-free? Think about whether your date seemed like a person you’d like to know more about, whose personality you found interesting, and whether or not you could see yourself exclusively dating him. After all, just because the first date wasn’t terrible doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go on a second date. However, it is most honorable to nicely let him know that you had a great time but that you didn’t feel as though the two of you would be a great match as a couple.

If you have received a follow-up text or phone call from him and he’s made it clear that he had a great time, reciprocate the sentiment. Don’t be fooled, men can be just as nervous and anxious to hear back from a woman as women can be. If he suggests a second date, express that you’d love to and if he doesn’t, don’t assume he doesn’t want a second date. Some men may think it is intimidating or forward, so take some stress off of him and recommend a second date. A casual question such as, “Would you like to have dinner this weekend?” opens the door for conversation and second date ideas.

Regardless of what you decide to do for your second date, release the first date pressures, stresses, and worries by staying in contact. Reply to voicemails or texts from him within a reasonable amount of time and don’t be afraid to be the one to make the initial, post-date contact. Leave the 48-hour rules and any other high school dating rules to those silly teenagers. Above all, have fun on your second date!

How Did Your First Date Go?

Without a doubt, the question we find both men and women asking themselves after a first date is “How did it go”? The answer to this question is extremely important on many levels.
That first date will really set the stage for what follows. We all know that first impressions are important, and this is particularly true when talking about a first date. The fact is, if the first date goes perfectly, then the rest of dating process will more than likely go great. The tone for a successful relationship has been set. On the other hand, if the first date is a dud, you can expect that the following dates will be more difficult and maybe even uncomfortable.

first date
With all of that said, how are we supposed to know how it went? Aside from simply waiting and finding out, there are a few clues that you can take away to help assess how it went.
Conversation is possibly the greatest indicator of how the date scored on the success meter. How did the conversation during the date flow? Was it comfortable and natural, or was it forced and uneasy? Certainly when people who do not know each other have initial conversations, there can be a “breaking the ice” period. However, as the date progresses, the conversation should become easy and enjoyable. If this doesn’t happen, and an uncomfortable feeling persists, its very possible that things did not go well and that one of you was not comfortable. This is one of the top factors in determining whether or not a second date will take place.
Something that goes hand in hand with conversation, of course, is laughter.

Was your date laughing throughout the conversation? If so, odds are that she was comfortable, found you charming and funny, and will probably be eager to see you again.
If you have the feeling that things did go well, then it is time to consider communication after that first date. This will begin to give you a very good idea of how your date perceived your time together. Contact can go two ways- your date may attempt to contact you, or you will wait to hear back after you have contacted her. The ideal situation, of course, will be if she contacts you (or responds to your contact) and says something to the effect of “I had a great time last night; call me and let’s plan to do it again”. If this happens, then you know the first date went well, and you are on your way to what might be a successful relationship.
The other possibility, of course, is that you contact her and hear nothing in return. At Premier Match, we’d suggest to you that if this happens three times, then it is probably didn’t go so well, and it’s time to move on.
So how did the first date go? The above tips can you gauge the answer, but at the end of the day the answer to this question has a pretty simple answer- did you get a second?

Rekindle Your Romance

Sometimes couples that are in long term relationships or marriages find that the romance that once sizzled with excitement has nearly burnt out and become nonexistent. Is there any wonder?? In this crazy world that we live in, our daily lives can easily become all-consumed with work, kids, stress…. and the relationship that we share with our partner falls by the wayside, taken for granted,  forgotten about. Our time is zapped, our energy is zapped and the health of our relationship? Well, we’ll focus on that later when we have time, right?

Well, if you find yourself in this situation and feel badly about it, at least you’ve acknowledged these feelings and realize some changes will need to be made in order to rekindle the romance in your relationship.

– Let’s first look at rebuilding the emotional side of the relationship. Have you been able to really sit down with your partner and enjoy time with him/her lately?  Have you found yourself to be impatient, snippy, not emotionally available to offer comfort and support to your partner?  How about the sexual side of your relationship?  Have you pushed that aside and forgotten about it?  Well, if so, then try to increase the amount of attention you give your partner and improve in these areas.

– How is your appearance? Have you let it go? Have you stopped wearing flattering clothing, gained a lot of weight?  If so, than maybe a makeover is needed.  Get a new haircut, buy some fresh makeup and some new outfits, start exercising. It will boost your emotional mood and make you feel a lot better. I also believe that when a person (in a relationship) begins to take pride in their appearance it becomes infectious and the other partner often feels inclined to participate in improving their overall appearance as well.

– Have the two of you gone out to dinner lately alone without the kids?  If not, try to set up a “date night” and get out of the house and do something fun. If you do dine out regularly and don’t have kids, do you find yourselves constantly going to the same old places because they are close by and convenient?  If so, try to find a new restaurant in a new neighborhood just to change things up.  I would also suggest purchasing tickets to an upcoming musical event or jazz concert just to do something different that is out of the norm and bring some excitement and new stimulus into your relationship.

– How about mini-vacations?  Are you the type of couple that only go away on two lengthy vacations a year and basically dedicate the rest of the year to work, kids schedules, the daily grind? If so, then try to change things up this year. I would still take a long and enjoyable vacation but also try to see if you might be able to save the other days off by taking a vacation day here and there (i.e. a random Friday or Monday) just to get a way and enjoy yourselves. Spending quality time together away from your home when you can focus on each other, relax, participate in sports, laugh, love and build new memories, will definitely help rekindle lost romance in a relationship.

Relationships require work, but the work doesn’t have to be tedious. By putting a little effort into the give and take; in the long run your relationship will become a lot more healthy and loving!

The New Rules of Attraction

When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that any single person would be a fool to not follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: If you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules single people follow need a little revamping.

Old rule: In three seconds you can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone and they have the potential for a relationship
New rule: In three dates you can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone and they have the potential for a relationship.
As a matchmaker for over a decade, the rule of three dates needs to be applied!  I have worked with hundreds of singles who have gone out on first dates only to walk away from their experiences without much enthusiasm. While they enjoyed meeting each other they didn’t feel instant chemistry. Through my encouragement I’ve gotten many of them to go out on a second date, which lead to a third date and eventually the beginnings of a loving relationship! Cosmopolitan Magazine recently polled hundreds of women across America and discovered that if single gals gave their dates a chance and went out a second or even a third time with them (and mind you, these were with guys they weren’t initially crazy about), 8 out of 10 of the women polled admitted that they fell in love with their gentlemen callers and are now dating them exclusively.

Old rule: Your date must meet all the criteria on your “check list”

New rule: Your date might meet some of your criteria on your “check list”
Singles often create long laundry lists of criteria that must be met when searching for a mate.  The list is often developed and lengthened through time based on bad dating experiences from the past. While we learn and grow from our experiences, try not to write off everyone that might bring certain qualities to the table (they have a child, they were brought up in a different religion, they’re older). Every person is unique; no two individuals are exactly alike so, try to explore and stay open minded.

Old rule: Your first kiss should be fireworks

New rule: Your first kiss is inconsequential
That first kiss is going to be awkward. You just met!  You’re both a little nervous. You’re not completely relaxed.  Don’t analyze it too much.

Old rule: You know its true love when you think about the person constantly and become obsessed.

New rule: You know its true love when the person makes you feel good all over and you experience a sense of calm.

When you’re in love with someone you should feel really good about yourself and feel emotionally content. The person brings joy and pleasure into your life. If you find yourself becoming obsessed, try to control your emotions. Love often needs recognition but it can’t be forced down someone’s throat.