Body Language: Can you read the signals?

Often times, our body language speaks louder than our words when dating. That is why you should pay close attention to the signals you’re picking up from your date as well as the actions you are consciously and unconsciously giving out.

Did you know that the most effective flirting techniques are happening through body language? It’s been proven that about 55 % of flirting is done through body language, while only 38% is through the inflection of voice, and 7 percent through words. Isn’t that interesting?

Nonverbal signals are part of communication, and they are accompanied by spoken words or not; it’s just simple human interaction that we have with others when we’re communicating.

So the next time you’re out on a date, try to pay attention to how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking ~ and try to notice what the other person’s body language reveals about their thoughts and intentions towards you.

Here are some good body language techniques that we would encourage while on a date:

Good Body Language on Dates

Be comfortable and natural in your posture and position
Make sure your attention is focused on your date – and not everywhere else
Mirror the other person (Demonstrate that you are getting along and feeling a connection)
Listen attentively to what they say (sometimes their over sharing & lack of filters actually will tell you more about what you need to know about them)
Be respectful with any touching

And here are some of the positive as well as the negative body language indicators between women and men that you can identify with while dating:

Positive Body Language Indicators

Women

It’s all in the eyes, the way she looks at you speaks volumes (look for desire, longing, enticement, interest).
Her hands are doing something to bring attention to her such as playing with her hair, massaging her neck.
She’ll be tilting her head to show she’s listening attentively.
She’ll be seated comfortably with good posture – with head, torso and feet all facing you.
She’ll continuously cross and uncross her legs – see if her feet point inward towards you.
She’ll be smiling & laughing with you and emulating positive energy.
Do you notice flared nostrils? In the right context this may be a signal that she is ready and willing to get physical with you and sign she may want to be kissed.

Men
He shows great posture, and his position is open without arms crossed.
He’ll show good eye contact and isn’t distracted by people or other sources around you.
He will open his eyes wider, and raise his eyebrows with animation.
He will inch closer and closer to you, proximity increases intimacy and shows he’s really into you.
He will gently touch your hands, arm, or back.
He’ll be smiling & laughing with you.

What Singles Are Looking For: What is Acceptable and What is Non-Negotiable

When it comes to what is acceptable and what is non-negotiable in a relationship, it appears that single professionals know exactly what they want and what they can overlook. Out of over 5,000 singles who completed a recent survey, more than half said they would not cancel a date because of something they found on Google about their date, nor would they cancel if they found out that someone was still living at home with their parents. The majority of those surveyed, 58%, said they would date a virgin and 53% reported never having had a ‘friends with benefits’ type relationship.

It also was discovered that there weren’t that many differences in opinions when each sex was looked at separately. Both men and women reported that they judge their potential partners on their teeth, hair, grammar, and clothes as their top four criteria. Also, it appears that the majority of both men and women felt the least important criteria was to find someone of similar ethnic background to themselves.

Manners and trust were also shown to be important ~ whereas 84% of women said that in a relationship, a partner who treats them with respect is a must-have, and 63% of men said they strongly prefer a partner they can trust and confide in.

Would you agree with these recent findings?

 

How Did Your First Date Go? – Part 2

In our last post, we discussed some tips and indications to think about when answering the question, ‘How did our first date go?’ As a follow up to that, we’d like to offer you a few things to do and consider after your first date.

If you are the female counterpart to the date, think about how the date went for you. Did you find the conversation to be easy and the mood stress-free? Think about whether your date seemed like a person you’d like to know more about, whose personality you found interesting, and whether or not you could see yourself exclusively dating him. After all, just because the first date wasn’t terrible doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go on a second date. However, it is most honorable to nicely let him know that you had a great time but that you didn’t feel as though the two of you would be a great match as a couple.

If you have received a follow-up text or phone call from him and he’s made it clear that he had a great time, reciprocate the sentiment. Don’t be fooled, men can be just as nervous and anxious to hear back from a woman as women can be. If he suggests a second date, express that you’d love to and if he doesn’t, don’t assume he doesn’t want a second date. Some men may think it is intimidating or forward, so take some stress off of him and recommend a second date. A casual question such as, “Would you like to have dinner this weekend?” opens the door for conversation and second date ideas.

Regardless of what you decide to do for your second date, release the first date pressures, stresses, and worries by staying in contact. Reply to voicemails or texts from him within a reasonable amount of time and don’t be afraid to be the one to make the initial, post-date contact. Leave the 48-hour rules and any other high school dating rules to those silly teenagers. Above all, have fun on your second date!

How Did Your First Date Go?

Without a doubt, the question we find both men and women asking themselves after a first date is “How did it go”? The answer to this question is extremely important on many levels.
That first date will really set the stage for what follows. We all know that first impressions are important, and this is particularly true when talking about a first date. The fact is, if the first date goes perfectly, then the rest of dating process will more than likely go great. The tone for a successful relationship has been set. On the other hand, if the first date is a dud, you can expect that the following dates will be more difficult and maybe even uncomfortable.

first date
With all of that said, how are we supposed to know how it went? Aside from simply waiting and finding out, there are a few clues that you can take away to help assess how it went.
Conversation is possibly the greatest indicator of how the date scored on the success meter. How did the conversation during the date flow? Was it comfortable and natural, or was it forced and uneasy? Certainly when people who do not know each other have initial conversations, there can be a “breaking the ice” period. However, as the date progresses, the conversation should become easy and enjoyable. If this doesn’t happen, and an uncomfortable feeling persists, its very possible that things did not go well and that one of you was not comfortable. This is one of the top factors in determining whether or not a second date will take place.
Something that goes hand in hand with conversation, of course, is laughter.

Was your date laughing throughout the conversation? If so, odds are that she was comfortable, found you charming and funny, and will probably be eager to see you again.
If you have the feeling that things did go well, then it is time to consider communication after that first date. This will begin to give you a very good idea of how your date perceived your time together. Contact can go two ways- your date may attempt to contact you, or you will wait to hear back after you have contacted her. The ideal situation, of course, will be if she contacts you (or responds to your contact) and says something to the effect of “I had a great time last night; call me and let’s plan to do it again”. If this happens, then you know the first date went well, and you are on your way to what might be a successful relationship.
The other possibility, of course, is that you contact her and hear nothing in return. At Premier Match, we’d suggest to you that if this happens three times, then it is probably didn’t go so well, and it’s time to move on.
So how did the first date go? The above tips can you gauge the answer, but at the end of the day the answer to this question has a pretty simple answer- did you get a second?

Getting Over Your Ex

Heartbreak isn’t easily extinguished. Sometimes it seems impossible to get over a person with whom you’ve shared significant moments, whether your relationship lasted a few months or several years. Getting over your ex is a struggle, but it is critical for your emotional and physical health to move forward in life.

At Premier Match, we work with many single individuals that have had a hard time getting over an ex. We coach our clients to realize that the best way to start a new chapter in your love life is to follow these few simple steps towards recovery:

  • First and foremost, if your ex is still looming large in your thoughts, you need to address these feelings and realize that the only way to move forward with a new situation is to relieve yourself of this past pain.
  • Don’t remember the positive moments in isolation. Stop reminiscing about the good times and acknowledge that the unhappy moments of what went on are what caused you to break up with your ex in the first place. Hanging on to the past will only hinder your progress moving forward.
  • Don’t “keep in touch” for a while. You need space and time away from communicating.  This break will allow you the opportunity to meet some new people, catch up with some old friends   – and not reveal to your ex what you have been up to.
  • If you have severed ties completely, GOOD, you are on the right path to recovery. However, with social media constantly reminding us of our exes and their lives, it’s easy to get pulled back in.  We highly recommend “unfriending” your ex and those of his/her social circle: family and friends. You don’t need to be reminded of parties, events and other gathering that show your ex in pictures and posts.
  • Don’t get stuck on the past. Find a new goal – whether it’s business-related, creative, or fitness – that will help you stay motivated and get your mind off your ex.
  • If you need to talk to someone, don’t be afraid to speak up. Reach out to those that you are close to; your immediate family members and dear friends.  If seeking out a therapist is something you would be open to, we highly recommend reaching out to one.  Sometimes talking things through to a third party – especially a highly trained specialist – can be extremely beneficial for your recovery.

Singles Dating – Tips to Remember

As a successful busy professional, your career is the focus of your life. But if you’ve realized that your career isn’t the only thing you should focus on, and that establishing a meaningful relationship would make it even more fulfilling, high end matchmaking services like Premier Match can help you. Of course you will need to be in the right mindset and in the right emotional state to make your dating experience rewarding.  The Singles Dating scene is complex. After working with thousands of single professionals we have noticed a common trend that past relationships have a huge impact on how people think and behave. Past dating experiences can make or break a potential relationship before it has even begun! At Premier Match, we are always encouraging singles to keep certain tips in mind as the dating experience begins:

  • Reflect on past relationships – Try to recognize what you could have done better, as both a person and a partner. Try to work on those aspects of yourself as you move forward with your dating experience.
  • Pay attention to how you perceive situations. If you doubt yourself and the situation you’re entering into, you may be closed off to what it can offer. Don’t stop a positive relationship from forming before it has even had a chance to take root.
  • You don’t have to be someone that you aren’t. But you can be more open to new ideas.
  • There’s no need to put pressure on yourself or the situation you’re entering into. It will not benefit your relationship.
  • Strive to be a better person tomorrow than you were today, and know that each day is an opportunity for you to become an even better person and potential partner

Lastly, the most important thing you can do to achieve success in the singles dating scene is to realize that the process is a numbers game. It will require time and effort to meet many different and interesting people. Just as your career needed nurturing and time to take off, your dating experience will require the same efforts.

Great Places to Go On a Date

Young smiling couple in a park

If you are planning a first date with someone special and you’re tired of the basic drinks and dinner routine, why not come up with some other interesting date ideas that you both will enjoy. Here at Premier Match, we often encourage clients to come up with different date options. There are so many wonderful places to go on dates!  Here are some ideas that have worked well for clients, all of which have offered positive feedback experiences:

Be inquisitive about your date’s sporting interests.  Does he/she like to bike, take long walks, play tennis, golf?  If you belong to a club, invite him/her there and play a round. If you live near an area where a long bike ride or walk would be enjoyable, encourage it.  Again, have options prepared and available for suggestion.

Check out “What’s Happening” around town. Museums, galleries and book stores regularly host noteworthy events that are much more exciting than a typical dinner and a movie. Afterwards, a drink or coffee to relax and reflect on the experience will seem appropriate.

Are you into music? Check out the roster of outdoor concerts that are now scheduled this summer and purchase some tickets. Are you both into live jazz? If so, there are several live venues that provide romantic ambiance and make for wonderful date experiences.

How about wine tastings? It seems these tastings have become extremely popular in the past few years. In addition to wine tastings, area restaurants have also promoted tasting events surrounding various beers, scotch and vodkas. These events often include some type of food and overall the date experience can be fun and educational.

So there you have it!  Just a small sampling of what to do and what places to go on a date. Enjoy!

Avoiding Dating Mistakes: How to Make Dating Better

happy couple have a romantic date in a fine dining restaurant, a large chandelier is in Background

Whenever we sign up a new client at Premier Match, there is a high level of excitement with the process. Before a new client even goes out on a first date we like to offer some of our seasoned advice.  We often review this list with new clients, but wanted to share a few of these important tips with all of our readers; this list offers ways to behave in order to avoid common dating mistakes:

  1. Be firm. Offer a couple of evenings that are open and chose a place that you want to go to – or encourage the other party to choose a location. It’s better to know what you want than to sound wishy-washy. Don’t agree to something that you know you’ll be uncomfortable with, like agreeing to eat at a steak house when you’re a vegetarian or accepting a place that you know will be really crowded and noisy.
  2. Be confident. Both men and women like a challenge, so if you’re really hoping that things work out with this person, let things happen naturally and don’t try to force the issue. Infatuation does not grow out of pressure.
  3. Be present. Don’t bring up exes or tell long-winded stories that take you both out of the moment. Enjoy your time together and explore each other’s personalities.
  4. Be available—but not too available. It’s a cliché to not always be available these days, but that shouldn’t be about playing games with someone. While you want to make sure that you still have time for family and friends, understand that dating does require time set aside, so try to balance your availability and organize your calendar.
  5. Be yourself. Sometimes we don’t realize how easy it is to be someone we’re not. If you want to change for the better, than strive to meet your personal goals. But be honest about who you are and where you’re going with your date, and, most importantly, with yourself.

If you keep these tips in mind, you’ll be sure to avoid some common dating mistakes. Have these tips helped you? Do you have some others you can share with us?

Dating After a Breakup

Once you decide you’re ready to start dating after a breakup, you may not know where to begin. In major cities like New York, Philadelphia, and Washington D.C., the amount of potential dates may be overwhelming. How will you find someone that makes you happy in such a busy, crowded place?

When you are ready to date again, don’t spend your time searching for love blindly. You may be concerned about finding the right person, especially after your breakup. Premier Match can make the actual process of dating after a breakup much less stressful. Let Premier Match introduce you to singles who match your compatibility requirements. This allows you to focus not on who you’re trying to find, but how to be the best person you can be.

Finding confidence after a breakup can be difficult, but both men and women respond to confidence in their partners. To re-discover your confidence, you may take comfort in viewing your past relationship not as a failure, but as a learning experience. Knowing what worked and what didn’t can help propel you forward into better relationships in the future.

So don’t think of dating after a breakup as picking up the pieces, but rather as an exciting new start. Leave the past behind and let Premier Match help you find someone who makes you truly happy.

Overcoming The Fear Of Dating

Almost all of us have a bit of anxiety when preparing for dates, but some people have severe difficulty with this. Overcoming the fear of dating is an important step in the dating process. Our tips can help you feel more at ease and make dates  less worrisome.

Major metropolitan centers like New York City can be intimidating, but Premier Match can make the process much easier by providing appropriate dates and making the arrangements for the date. In addition, our coaching and relationship counseling can assist people that are nervous about getting out there and put them at ease.  So suppose you go out on a date and you don’t find instant chemistry with the person. There is no harm in this. You’re now a little more comfortable putting yourself out there (practice helps you feel less anxious) and you’ve met someone new and interesting. Meeting different kinds of people helps you grow and learn more about yourself and others. It also helps fine tune your criteria as to what you are looking for in a partner; what traits mesh well or do not mesh well with yours.

Remember to enjoy yourself. Chances are you will have a great time and build a new relationship with someone meaningful. And if the date didn’t go well—what’s the worst that can happen? You spent an hour or two with someone exercising your social skills and getting out of the house.  Overall, to succeed in dating is just putting yourself out there, meeting new people and expanding your social skills and your social circles. You might be very surprised at what you find out about yourself and who you meet in the process.