In daily life we are sending out subtle—and not-so-subtle—messages to everyone around us. Like Wi-Fi signals floating unseen through the air, you broadcast hundreds of messages every time you interact with someone. And if you’re dating, you can bet that the gentlemen you’re going out with are reading every signal you offer, analyzing each one in an effort to decipher its exact meaning.
The good news is that you can transmit these signals any time you want in order to achieve a desired effect. That’s a lot of power to have over another person. But the bad news is that you’re also sending a steady stream of signals without even knowing it. Your facial expression, your posture, your body language, and even the way you walk and talk are communicating all kinds of things to the person you’re interacting with.
Let’s look at some of the main ways you send signals to men. This can help you examine just what it is you’re communicating—intentionally or not—to other people.
Broadcasting that your life is “crazy busy.” You know in your heart you want a relationship, but is it common for you to broadcast to everyone around you that your life is crazy busy and your business and personal commitments are all consuming? If so, do you honestly think that anyone that is listening to this will become more interested in dating you? The signal you are putting out there is that you don’t have the time or the capability of investing in anything right now. Try to keep your discussions more light and less stressed and try to talk about how you are available (if you truly could be and truly want a relationship in your life).
Choosing the Location for the Date. While most people decide together where they would like to go out on their date, if you make demands and choose a date location that seems to be inconvenient or communicates a complete lack of interest in pleasing the other person, please try to identify this and collaborate on a date plan that seems more mutually agreeable. Don’t choose a date location that is literally across the street from your house/apt but is an hour away by car for the other party. And if he isn’t into loud music or into drinking don’t suggest a bar hall that plays loud dance music. Pay attention to the fact that your date may wonder how much you care about them and how much investment you have in developing a dating relationship.
Presenting yourself by the way you Dress. This is one of the most obvious ways to send a message to a person you’re going out with. If you dress to look sexy, you are communicating one thing. If you dress in a way that’s totally casual, you are saying something else. The same goes for whether you look sloppy, well-groomed, successful, or high maintenance. The clothes you wear and the way you wear them are great ways to tell a date a little about yourself, about how you are feeling about the date, and about what you have in mind for the evening.
Just make sure that you’re not broadcasting messages that you don’t mean to. When you get dressed for the date, ask yourself, “Is the way I’m dressed sending the signals I mean to be sending?” If so, then go for it. But if not, you might decide to dress up or dress down a bit, depending on how you want to come across.
Invitations you Offer or Accept that send the wrong Signals. Certain dating activities don’t really hold any specific significance at all. Dinner at a local cafe followed by a movie isn’t necessarily going to deliver any precise message regarding your expectations for the evening or the relationship. But other invitations have the potential to communicate plenty. Inviting someone inside for a drink at the end of the date signals that you’re at least open to the idea of the relationship becoming more physically intimate.
And also if someone you’ve recently started dating asks you to go away for the weekend you better realize that this may imply more intimacy, and maybe even take the relationship to a new level of seriousness. If you feel ready for this..Great! Go for it! Of course, if you don’t feel comfortable with the invitation, you should never feel obligated to go through with it because the other party is going to misread your signal.
Playing Hard to Get. Men hate this game and bear in mind, with all the options that are available these days in meeting new people, playing hard to get is not a game that will side in your favor. Don’t believe that you are going to make someone more interested in you if you play this game. He will only become more frustrated with you. And if you aren’t into someone, at least follow up and communicate your feelings. Parting as “friends” will offer closure and will allow the gentleman to know how you’re feeling so he can move on and not waste any more time.